BUMPER STICKERS

The more people I meet, the more I like my dog.

A bartender is just a pharmacist with a limited inventory.

I got a gun for my wife, best trade I ever made.

Reality is a crutch for people who can't handle drugs.

Earth first...we'll strip mine the other planets later.

If something goes without saying, let it.

IRS We've got what it takes to take what you've got.

Jesus loves you... everyone else thinks your a jerk.

Jesus paid for our sins... now lets get our money's worth.

Keep honking, I'm reloading.

Sometimes I wake up grumpy; other times I let her sleep

I want to die in my sleep like my grandfather ... Not screaming and yelling like the passengers in his airplane.

Tow-ers will be violated

Anyone can give up smoking, but it takes a real man to face cancer.

There's too much youth, how about a fountain of smart.

When there's a will, I want to be in it!

Give me ambiguity or give me something else.

Always remember you're unique, just like everyone else.

Puritanism: The haunting fear that someone, somewhere may be happy.

I souport publik edekasion

hoket on foniks werked fur me

3 kinds of people: those who can count & those who can't.

I killed a 6-pack just to watch it die.

Sex on television can't hurt you unless you fall off.

(seen on the back of a biker's vest) If you can read this, my wife fell off...

Work is for people who don't know how to fish.

If you can read this, please flip me back over... (seen upside down, on a jeep)

Boldly going nowhere

Honk if you've never been shot at

If at first you don't succeed, skydiving is not for you

I'm just driving this way to piss you off.

If you lived in your car, you'd be home by now

What has four legs and an arm? A happy pit bull

The gene pool needs a little chlorine.

You are depriving some poor village of its idiot

So you're a feminist...Isn't that cute.

Hard work has a future payoff. Laziness pays off now.

It's lonely at the top, but you eat better.

If you smoke after sex, you're doing it too fast.

WANTED: Meaningful overnight relationship.

I need someone really bad... are you really bad?

Beauty is in the eye of the beer holder.

To all you virgins, thanks for nothing.

Lord save me from your followers.

I said "no" to drugs, but they just wouldn't listen.

Atheism is a non-prophet organization

What if there were no hypothetical questions?

I don't suffer from insanity, I enjoy every minute of it.

No sense being pessimistic, it probably wouldn't work anyway..